Dear Lady

Dear Lady at my Office,

Please stop pointing out how pregnant I am and expressing amazement that I am this large and still here. I know. I am aware of the circumstances. Unfortunately, the US only offers new mothers (and fathers) a pittance in terms of secured time off compared to the rest of the developed world. A lot of people can't even get paid during this time. Every day I stay home before the baby comes is one day less that I get to spend at home with the baby after she is born. See how that works?

Plus, it's not like staying at home waiting to pop is any kind of picnic. Bruce isn't going to be hovering around, waiting to take orders from my gravid-ass self. At home not only am I expected to bend down and pick up things that I have dropped but I am also expected to be doing things like packing, cleaning, poop wrangling, spackling and a multitude of other crap that needs to get done pre-June 1st.

So, yes, Lady at my Office, I am still here. Thanks for noticing.

Sincerely,

Management of the Uterus